today

I have a soft spot for songs that talk about the kind of day that the singer had (or will have). They always seem like a good omen to me.

In college, I would have a great day whenever I would start it with a song by Beck featuring the lyrics, "Today has been a fucked up day, today has been a fucked up day, today has been a fucked up day" with different intonations, repeated again and again. That song brought me such illogically good luck.

My current favorite is that Black Eyed Peas song where they say "I gotta feeling that tonight’s gonna be a good night, that tonight’s gonna be a good night, that tonight’s gonna be a good good night." Love it! How could I not get behind that sentiment? And it hasn't failed me yet...every time I hear that song, it's a good night.

The one that started it all, though, was "Today," by the Smashing Pumpkins. "Today is the greatest, day I've ever known, can't wait for tomorrow, I might not have that long..." So Buddhist, isn't it? The Smashing Pumpkins were my number one favorites when I was sixteen and miserable and not fitting in with the kids in the small town where I grew up. I would listen to this song before and after school and feel better. It also has the line "I'll tear my heart out, before I get out." Boy, did I love that. Boy, did that speak to my depressed, teenaged, stuck-in-a-small-town self. I read somewhere that Billy Corgan wrote that song when he was suicidal, which makes a lot of sense. You're in a dark place, and you write a song about deciding to keep living, and it helps other people through the same kind of shit. Not that I was suicidal, but the song helped pull me through bad feelings, day after fucked up day. And now, fifteen years later, I find myself in the city, with some fun friends, and lots of good omens about tonight being a good good night.