death of a job

I had two summer jobs this year, and quit them both after 2 months. The first was at a car rental company, and it involved washing cars with sociopaths in a sweltering hot garage. Quitting was really a no-brainer.

But the second job was something special. You had to know very important people to get this job. It was at a marina, see. A marina overlooking Lake Superior. My most prevalent thought since I moved to this town has been "I should be by the lake right now." Whenever I'm not near it, I feel like I'm wasting my time.

The marina was going to solve all of my problems: lack of funds, and lack of lake time. And it did! It made all of my dreams come true for the second half of the summer. I stood out on a pier in the sun fueling the yachts of the wealthy, pumping the sewage from their septic tanks, looking over the lake, and feeling like the luckiest girl in the world. Sometimes the wealthy would even tip! But then...stinking September rolled around and I started GRAD SCHOOL again.

At first, it was fine. I'd come to the marina after teaching and taking classes, and it would still feel like summer. It allowed me to be in denial about the fact that school had started. I would think things like, "I can't plan class right now, I have to clean the bathrooms!" or "Oh good, someone needs diesel in their sailboat...guess this 50-page reading on literary theory will have to wait."

But then, it started to catch up with me. There were typos on my assignments and my students seemed unengaged in my half-planned lessons. I still hadn't unpacked boxes in my new apartment (still haven't, come to think of it). I was getting snappy with my boyfriend/husband/roommate (this is all one person). I was cranky with anyone who needed anything at the marina, because they were interrupting my studying...I didn't have any time!

I can see the progression in my journal from loving the marina to hating the marina:

8/27/11: Fun day at work, chatting with co-workers, chatting with boaters about the nice weather.

8/29/11: Worked by myself at the marina from 5:00 on, which was awesome. Beautiful sunset, beautiful weather, love walking around the docks.

9/10/11: Had to work by myself with beer fest going on. A lady made me call the cops because another boat was in her spot. Sucked. Tomorrow should be better.
(It wasn't.)

9/16/11: Marina. Kind of sick of it. Hopefully tomorrow is another nice fucking day so more people can ride around in their fucking boats and need things from me.

9/19/11: Headed to the motherfucking marina. AGAIN.

9/24/11: Don't want to work at the marina again tomorrow. Need a day off. Not getting it. Had to pump 46 gallons of shit out of a sailboat today - 3 tank rinses and no tip. I am. in a world. of shit.

I quit a week later.

My last day was yesterday. Today was my first day off (from teaching, classes, AND marina) since Labor Day. And since I didn't have to spend this morning cleaning bathrooms and pumping septic tanks, I had just enough extra time (between the essays I was grading) to ponder the question: NOW what am I going to do for a job next summer?